Vocabulary mayhem

We gave an evaluation test to the incoming freshmen last week. Whereas many of them decided to leave certain questions blank, a few brave souls attempted to write sentences for the vocabulary words we gave them.

Some were successful. Others . . . well, others were successful in making me smile while grading this afternoon. Here are some gems of malapropism.

Sneak is a very dangerous animal.

Young people should not eat more sneaks.

(No, because that would be canabalism.)

This kind of sneak is very popular with students.

Nowdays, more and more young people are interested in sneak.

Don’t tube anybody.

Tube it right now!

(To tube, or not to tube . . . ?)

English is a very important curse to students.

(Hmmm . . . I’ll assume she meant course.)

My study life is very busy. I have many curses.

Finally, the doctor cursed the patient.

She accurated me because I didn’t open the window before I left.

(And this is an example of why English is just so tricky. I believe that the student accurately identified accurate as a synonym of correct. Correct, however, can be a verb, while accurate . . . well, you know the rest of that English lesson.)

I revive the cake happily.

I have revived the book.

In order to develop my English, we should revive my English after the class.

I want to ask my friend to tell me about the meaning of devastate.

(But I’m glad you didn’t—because that would be cheating.)

Desiree