Saturday, September 15, 2007

The full Chinese experience

Well, last night was Friday, what I like to call "Date Night" (even though the real date night typically happens only one Friday a month). Dave and I planned to go into Zhou Pu for dinner and to buy some groceries. At lunch, the duo became a trio when a new acquaintance, Jim, asked if he could go with us. Jim is one of the very first male Chinese students to form a friendship with us. (Students in our particular program are all female, and most male students do not usually strike up conversations with us--we're not sure why. It may be standoffishness or maybe just lower English ability.)

But Jim is decidedly different. He first met Dave out at the track and field and began a conversation, which led to lunch, which led to a group outing to Zhou Pu. Unlike most students, Jim is not from Shanghai but from a about 5 hours north, so he is unable to go home during the weekends. The school looks like a ghost town after 3:00 on Fridays, so we were happy to be able to spend time with Jim and keep him from a lonely evening in the dormitory.

Going out with us also gave Jim the opportunity to practice his English. (And whatever Jim lacks in vocabulary and grammar knowledge he makes up for in bravery--he certainly doesn't shy away from trying to use his English.) Even during the few days between seeing Jim on the track and eating lunch with him, his skill had already improved. Friday evening would stretch him even further and would give us a good lesson in culture (and as it ended up, patience).

Upon entering the town, we asked Jim where he wanted to eat, only to discover that he wasn't hungry. (Hadn't we told him we were going there for dinner?) So we walked around a bit to work up an appetite. After a while, we all decided to find some Chinese food, Jim leading the way to a good restaurant. He felt responsible to show us around, but unfortunately, because he doesn't live in this area, he knew his way around even less than we did. Finally we made our way to a familiar restaurant, one that has a dish that we actually know how to order. This is when Chinese regionalisms became apparent.

Again, Jim wanted to help by ordering for us, but he didn't know what the food was called. (In his area, they apparently have different words for it.) This is what led to what I like to call the full Chinese experience: taking 5 times longer than you expect to order something, only to then get something other than what you ordered. In our normal, insulated state of being around Americans and Chinese who speak English quite well, we don't get to experience this very often. I felt like the night was a success, really. You shouldn't live in China and never experience these kinds of things. How dull would that be?

The real fun came when we started back for home and asked Jim if he would come back with us or stay and visit an internet cafe (Jim had told us he likes to "surf the net" in Zhou Pu):

Us: "It is time for us to go back home."
Jim: "Oh, yes, it is late."
Us: "So, will you come back with us, or will you stay here and surf the net?"
Jim: "Huh?"
Us: "So, will you come back with us, or will you stay here and surf the net?"
Jim: "Yes, it is time for you to go home. You are very busy."
Us: "So will you go back to the school, or will you stay here?"
Jim: "Yes."
We stop asking questions and wait to see if Jim will get on the bus.

When we got back, Dave and I just laughed. It was like being on a first date where both people are trying to think of things to do, each trying to do what the other person wants even though they don't really know what that is. You end up feeling like neither of you actually did what you wanted. But, hao, it's ok. We wanted food, and Jim wanted to practice English and get out of the dorm. But as we patiently helped each other, we get something more: friendship.

And, actually, what I've come to learn about teaching in China is that friendship with students is definitely part of the experience.

Desiree

No comments: